Monday, January 27, 2014

All Nighters

Staying awake all night in my early 20's looked like this: 

Example 1: Uni assignment due in three days, oh my god! Consume Diet Coke while staring at computer screen. Eventually decide to go to bed and work on it in the morning as far too tired now. Go to bed, be unable to sleep due to caffeine. Lie there, jittery and anxious. Feel alone. 

Example 2: Drinks. Many. Ah, to be 22 again. World of pain to follow. Feel alone in my misery. 

Example 3: My old friend, insomnia. Lie awake for hours, retreat to couch to watch random Nicole Kidman movie and eat toast. Feel alone. 

Now...fast forward to my late twenties. (Pause while I reel in horror that I am in my late twenties. I had a moment the other day when I realised I am three years older than the characters on Friends when the show began. What??!! Next thing we know I'll be the same age as the Sex and the City girls. How did this happen?)
Anyway. I digress. Staying up all night is a different scenario now.

Example 1: Heavily pregnant. Lie on couch as bed has become torture rack. Watch random episodes of Survivor. Feel a little person performing acrobatics in my tummy. Feel close to my unborn baby even in the midst of my sleepless frustration. 

Example 2: Sick baby. The last week has been a long one as my little boy has been very unwell and unwilling to settle anywhere but my arms at night. Last night we progressed to him settling in his pram for short periods but it's still a delicate situation. I don't know about you, but trying to sleep while sitting up holding a 11.5kg seven month old baby is not an easy feat. Tonight he progressed from wanting to be held tight against me to rolling around and making me his personal mattress. Filled with the optimism tinged with desperation one only feels when it is 4.30am and no sleep has been had, I gently lowered him to the bed next to me in the hopes that we could peacefully lie next to each other for a few hours of co-sleeping slumber. The next thing I knew, by the dim glow of the night light, I could see a pair of eyes looking into mine. Then a cheeky grin spread across his face. Then he whispered what sounded like "Oh. Mama," as he rolled towards me, took my face in his hands and chuckled. Yep, the virus is leaving him and returning my happy boy to me. Suddenly I didn't feel so tired. Instead I felt so grateful that even when I am up all night now, I am not alone. 

And the best part? I just put him into his own bed and he has happily self settled after rolling around chatting to himself while I wrote this. It's time for me to bury my head in the pillow, reclaim my bed and my body for the first time in a week and- 

"MEOW!" 

Oh, god. Yep. That would be about right. Come on then Pesto. Feel free to climb aboard and make me into your own personal mattress. 

Goodnight. Xxx